The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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