Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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