A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
