Where are you?
In a non slutty way
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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