I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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