Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
