did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
