fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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