Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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