I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
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Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
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So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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