everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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