Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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