dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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