brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
