she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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