one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
