last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
