I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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