dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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