Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
