i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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