I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
