I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize