I am puke
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
