well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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