Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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