I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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