Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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