Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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