Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
