There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
