she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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