i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
