Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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