Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
