erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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