I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
