we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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