did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize