I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
