well I can't set my house on fire every night
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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