shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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