VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Im part way to drunk.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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