Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize