We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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