Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
