Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Randomize
