Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
