Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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