That's when you crack a 10am beer
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
