I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
