hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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