Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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