She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
