Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
