Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
