this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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