Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
