Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
