I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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