We named our party play list daddy issues
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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