he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize