hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
