no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
