So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize