We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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