is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
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Farmville is her only friend.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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