I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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