I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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