I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You dont lie about slip and slides
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
