I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
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